In all my years as a therapist, and despite training in some incredible newer therapies along the way, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) remains one of the most transformative approaches I have ever worked with. Other therapies, like EMDR, can be a brilliant adjunct to CBT. But I am often reminded that CBT – now a fairly classical therapy – is still an incredibly powerful ingredient when it comes to lasting transformation for my therapy clients.
Sometimes CBT gets a hard time for being “just think positively”, being overly-rigid, or surface-level. But when CBT is done properly it is none of those things; it is a powerful tool to helps you make sense of your mind, recognise patterns that keep you stuck, and – most importantly – find a way forward that actually works for you.
One of the most powerful moments in therapy is when a client starts to see their struggles in a new light. They realise, “This isn’t just me being difficult or broken – there is a reason I feel the way I do.” The power of CBT is about making sense of difficult experiences. Once things makes sense to us, we can start to change them. That moment of clarity can change everything.
What is CBT Really About?
CBT is based on a simple but life-changing idea: the way we think, feel, and behave are all connected. The way we interpret and make sense of the events is not random; it is shaped by experience.
For example:
- If you grew up in a family where you were constantly overlooked, you may have a belief that you are invisible, that you do not matter, or that you are of little worth. That might affect how you show up in relationships, or how able you feel to be seen in the here-and-now. You might play down your own needs, or fear rejection.
- If you were praised mainly for achievements but criticised for mistakes, you might feel an intense pressure to get everything right, all the time. This might create constant anxiety and fear of failure, which makes it difficult to grow or take risks.
- If you experienced loss or alienation in early life, you might have developed a belief that the world is unfair, or that bad things happen to good people. This might make you expect the worst in unfamiliar situations, or play it safe to avoid further disappointment and sadness.
One thing CBT highlights is how such patterns are often self-perpetuating. In other words, if we believe something, and it makes us feel a certain way, that can affect how we act. In turn, how we act can reaffirm our existing beliefs, and heighten the associated feelings. Sound familiar?
CBT helps untangle these patterns and – crucially – gives you the tools to break free from them.
What CBT Looks Like in Real Life
When I work with clients, therapy often follows this kind of outline:
Giving it Space: The first task of therapy is to talk. Sometimes clients feel they have to present things in a neat or linear way, but that is really not the case. The start of therapy is like doing a big jigsaw puzzle together, in our own time. We put the pieces together, and sit with the picture that emerges.
Understanding the Pattern: Once the picture is reasonably complete (we can add to it as we go) we take a step back and look at any patterns we observe. We map out how different parts of your experience fit together and influence each other. At this stage, I am looking at two things in particular: how did the current difficulties arise or grow over time, and what is keeping them going? Like any problem, if you can identify these two things, you are in a good position to address it.
Making Sense of Emotions: The process of making sense has a secondary benefit, which is helping you step back from the problem. When we shift from experiencing something to observing it, we can remove some of the emotional intensity attached. For example, if we move from being overwhelmed by anxiety to looking at what happens for us when our anxiety rises, the anxiety reduces. We go from being in it to looking in on it.
Finding What Works for You: Depending on what you find in the earlier phases, you might work on addressing unhelpful beliefs, tweaking how you think about things as they happen, or experimenting with changing your behaviour. Often, it will be a combination of all that and more. At the heart of this is changing thoughts and behaviour to change how you feel (hence the name cognitive behavioural therapy!)
Building Long-Term Change: You walk away empowered with a good understanding of what goes on for you emotionally, and with tools that keep making a difference long after therapy ends.
CBT Beyond Anxiety and Depression
People often ask me what CBT can help with. The answer? So much more than you might think.
💭 Anxiety and Overthinking – Understanding the cycle of worry and learning how to step out of it.
⚡ Burnout & Low Mood – Reconnecting with motivation and breaking out of autopilot.
🔄 OCD & Intrusive Thoughts – Learning how to take back control from relentless thought loops.
🛑 Trauma & PTSD – Making sense of what’s happened and finding a way forward.
💬 People-Pleasing & Boundaries – Realising that your needs do matter, and learning how to set healthy boundaries.
One of the most powerful things I see in therapy is how understanding what’s happening in your mind changes everything. When people realise, “This makes sense,” it doesn’t just bring relief; it opens up new choices they never even considered before.
Why One-to-One CBT is Different
Many people come to therapy after trying CBT-based self-help books or digital therapy programs. While those resources can be extremely helpful, one-to-one CBT offers something completely different:
🔹 It is personal: Therapy is shaped around your unique experiences, not a generic one-size-fits-all approach
🔹 It changes as you do: We adjust therapy in real-time based on what you need, what is going on for you, and what is working for you.
🔹 You are not facing it alone: Having someone guide and support you makes an incredible difference. While tools and techniques are an important part of CBT, human connection is at its heart.
🔹 It goes deeper: Modern CBT is not rigid. I integrate techniques from Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT), Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT), and Schema Therapy to create a fully tailored, high-standard approach that flexes with the client’s needs.
If You’re Wondering Whether Therapy is Right for You…
So many people tell me they worry their problems are not big enough for therapy. They say things like “other people have it worse,” “maybe I should just be able to deal with this” or “it’s not like I had a terrible childhood.” OK – but does that mean your struggles do not deserve attention? Does it mean you should suffer forever?
If something is affecting you, it is worth exploring. Therapy is not just for crisis points. It is for anyone who wants to understand themselves better, make real changes, and build a life that feels more manageable, fulfilling, and aligned with who they truly are.