Burnout is not just about feeling “tired” or “stressed.” It is a complex, insidious condition that starts with the smallest cracks in your mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing—then escalates into a full-blown collapse if ignored. But here’s the thing that often gets missed: burnout does not always look the way you think it does. It is not always about working 18-hour days, living on caffeine, or running yourself ragged. Sometimes, burnout comes with a quiet, creeping feeling of being emotionally and mentally depleted, long before it shows up as exhaustion.
Let’s unpack burnout from a fresh perspective. This isn’t a fluffy “self-care” post. It’s about understanding exactly how burnout manifests—so you can spot it in yourself before it completely derails your life.
What is Polyvagal Theory—and How Does it Relate to Burnout?
Polyvagal theory, developed by neuroscientist Stephen Porges, suggests that our nervous system’s vagus nerve (the longest nerve in the body) plays a key role in how we respond to stress and danger. This nerve helps regulate everything from your heart rate to digestion, and even how you react emotionally to situations. Essentially, it’s the body’s built-in stress response system. And when it’s overloaded, that’s when burnout begins to creep in—slowly but surely.
The triggers for stress and burnout might be external – pressures, workload, relentless commitments. But it is our body’s response to these triggers that gets us stuck in a stressed out state. Our body has three primary ways it responds to stress, based on how our vagus nerve activates:
- Fight or Flight: This is the high-stress zone where you’re ready to run or fight. It’s your “doing” state, where your body is pumped up, adrenaline is high, and everything feels urgent. The 100 miles an hour state.
- Freeze: When things get too much, the body can go into “shutdown” mode. Your brain disconnects and shuts off, leaving you feeling numb, detached, or completely overwhelmed. This is the state where you might find yourself mindlessly scrolling for yours, detected from your surroundings, overeating, and feeling stuck.
- Social Engagement: When the vagus nerve is calm and you feel safe, your body’s “social engagement” system is active, making you feel connected and in control. This is your “OK” state.
Burnout often happens when the body stays in a state of stress for too long, triggering either fight/flight or freeze responses repeatedly. The result? Emotional depletion, physical exhaustion, and mental fog. The more we push through, the more we numb out—or burn out.
How Burnout Shows Up in Your Life (And What It Looks Like)
So, how do you know if you’re teetering on the edge of burnout?
- You’re Tired, But Never Fully Rested
You go to bed early, you think you’re getting enough sleep, but you wake up feeling like you’ve run a marathon. Or worse—you’re tired all the time, and the idea of “rest” feels like another task you’re failing at. Maybe you have been working non-stop, even on weekends, just trying to get ahead. But instead of feeling refreshed after a night’s sleep, you feel like you’re in a constant state of mental fog. Your body is stuck in fight or flight, running on adrenaline—and it’s exhausting.
- You’re Emotionally Numb or On Edge
This is where polyvagal theory comes in: when the body is in chronic stress mode, you can either feel overly emotional (irritable, anxious, angry) or completely numb (detached, indifferent, disassociated). Either way, you’re not in control of your emotional state. You’re short with colleagues or family, snapping at the smallest things. Or you’re completely shutting down—unable to engage in activities that once brought you joy. It’s like you’re not really there.
- You Feel Like You’re Running on Empty (But You Keep Going)
Burnout doesn’t happen overnight. It sneaks up on you, like a slow drain on your energy and enthusiasm. But instead of listening to your body’s signals, you push through. It’s fine, I can handle it. The problem? Your body can’t. You used to be productive, sharp, and motivated—but now it feels like it takes all your willpower just to get through the day. Even if you manage to push through, you’re only doing the bare minimum. Your nervous system is stuck in freeze mode, making every task feel heavier than it should.
How to Break the Burnout Cycle (And Reclaim Your Energy)
I’m not going to tell you to “take a break” or “relax” (though that is important!). Instead, let’s take a look at how you can work with your nervous system to reset it—and take the control back from burnout.
- Recognise the Signs Early (Don’t Wait Until It’s Too Late)
The first step is recognising when burnout is starting to take hold. Are you feeling irritable, numb, or disconnected? Are you pushing through without real rest? These are all signs that your vagus nerve is in overdrive, and your body needs some space to recover.
Action Tip: Start keeping track of how you’re feeling emotionally and physically throughout the day. Notice any patterns—like feeling more tired after certain tasks or social interactions. This awareness is key to early intervention.
- Slow Down Your Nervous System (On Purpose)
When your body is stuck in a fight/flight/freeze state, it’s time to actively shift gears. Try simple techniques like deep breathing and gentle movement—these are two powerful tools that engage the vagus nerve and restore balance.
- Deep Breathing: The most effective way to reset your nervous system. Try breathing in for 4 counts, holding for 4, exhaling for 4, and holding again for 4. This simple technique activates the parasympathetic nervous system, shifting you from fight/flight to rest/digest.
- Gentle Movement: A short walk outside or simple stretches can help release built-up tension in the body, sending signals to your nervous system that it’s safe to relax.
- Re-establish Boundaries (And Stick to Them)
When burnout takes hold, you’re likely saying “yes” to everything—work, family, friends, obligations. It’s time to re-establish boundaries and protect your energy.
Action Tip: Write down your non-negotiables—things you will and will not do. It could be no work emails after 7 PM or taking a quiet hour to yourself every evening. Protect your time like your life depends on it (because, honestly, it does).
- Practice Self-Compassion (It’s Not About “Doing More”)
Burnout often makes you feel like you’re failing—like you’re not doing enough, not producing enough, not “good enough.” But here’s the truth: you’re not meant to run at full speed all the time. Give yourself permission to rest, to be imperfect, and to step back when your body needs it.
Action Tip: When you’re feeling burned out, try this exercise: Imagine you’re talking to a close friend who’s going through the same thing. What would you tell them? Now, offer yourself the same compassion.
- Reconnect with What Brings You Joy
Burnout can make everything feel like a chore, leaving little space for enjoyment or passion. Reconnect with the things that bring you joy—no matter how small or simple they are.
- Example: If you love painting, baking, or hillwalking—make time for these things, even if just occasionally. Reclaim parts of your life that have slipped away or become overshadowed.
You Are the Expert in Your Own Life
Ultimately, you are the expert in your own experience of burnout. Your nervous system is telling you important things about your current state of stress—and you have the power to reset it. The key is recognising when your body has had enough, taking steps to calm your nervous system, and making space for what truly nourishes you.