Rachel Allan Consultancy Rachel Allan Consultancy
  • Home
  • Services
    • Therapy
    • Supervision
    • Corporate
  • Dr Rachel M Allan
  • Associate Psychologists
  • Blog
  • Book
  • Policies
  • Contact

privacy-policy

By Thomas Albohm
Mar 19, 2021

FaceBook
Comments Box SVG iconsUsed for the like, share, comment, and reaction icons
Dr Rachel M Allan
2 days ago
Dr Rachel M Allan

Some people don’t fall apart when they’re struggling; they get sharper. What looks like calm and dependability from the outside can feel like bracing on the inside.

This pattern usually has a history. At some point usefulness became tied to closeness. Being easy to have around kept relationships predictable, and predictability felt secure. Over time the mind paired belonging with performance, so effort started to function like the only way to guarantee your value would be seen.

If you get stuck in that pattern, rest ends up carrying tension. Showing uncertainty activates anxiety far larger than the present moment warrants. What’s more you end up feeling isolated and alone because the pressure to perform and deliver means you never feel truly seen.

A minor event can therefore land with surprising force. A brief message, a change in tone, an error at work. The reaction is not really about the incident; it connects to the old fear of losing place, importance, or access to care.

Many high-functioning adults became highly skilled at self-management while leaving emotional expression underdeveloped.

When the underlying rule begins to shift, and you find that connection can remain even when nothing impressive is happening, the nervous system settles. The external world looks the same, yet the internal workload drops because belonging no longer depends on constant competence.

If this resonated, save this so you can come back to it on a hard day, share it with someone who always holds everything together, and follow for more psychology-based insight into relationships and emotional health.

Comment GUIDE and I’ll send you my free guide “What’s Really Going On?” A Psychologists’s Guide to the Patterns Behind Your Pain

#traumarecovery #functionalfreeze #highfunctioninganxiety
... See MoreSee Less

Play
View on Facebook
· Share
Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Linked In Share by Email
View Comments
  • Likes: 7
  • Shares: 0
  • Comments: 0

0 CommentsComment on Facebook

© 2023 Rachel Allan Consultancy | photos by Andy Allan Photography
Dr Rachel Allan uses cookies to improve the range of services. To opt-in please accept. Cookie PolicyCookie settingsAccept
Cookies

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT