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By Thomas Albohm
Mar 19, 2021

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Dr Rachel M Allan
2 days ago
Dr Rachel M Allan

What if your trauma is not only the big thing that happened? What if the context holds just as much trauma as the thing itself? Trauma exists in a web of relationships, silences, and betrayals that might have shaped what happened in the first place, or the response of those around you to what happened.

Here are some of the hard truths around trauma that might get you thinking differently:
1️⃣ The hardest thing might not be what happened. It might be how alone you were in it. When those who should have stepped in turned away, something in you learned not to trust.
2️⃣ Some of the deepest wounds come from being failed by systems that were meant to help. Health, legal, educational and workplace systems, to name a few.
3️⃣ You learned to carry too much. When no one intervened, you became your own protector. The behaviours that might have seemed hard to understand to others made perfect sense to you.
4️⃣ Your coping is intelligent. But it may also be out of date.
5️⃣Some of the people or institutions that hurt you may never acknowledge it. That doesn’t make your memory unreliable. But it can make your grief complicated.
6️⃣ Your issues with trust are not your fault. You learned trust can be abused and used against you, including by people in authority.
7️⃣Your mind can make sense of what happened. But your body still holds the shock or realising no one came. That is where the real work needs to happen.
8️⃣ Your anger is protective. It reminds you you deserved better care, better protection, fuller honesty. It is normal to feel anger when power is abused.
9️⃣ You get stuck grappling with parts of the story you can’t change. Empowerment comes from focusing on what you can control.
🔟 Healing means reclaiming trust on your own terms, and building safety in relationships that show you it is safe to rest now.

I help people untangle the visible and hidden impact of trauma. This means going beyond the events themselves to looking at the context, the relationships and the systems that formed part of what you went through.

My waiting list is open for 2026 - enquire at
www.rachelallanconsultancy.com/contact/
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